2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 1 – 2

Absolom and Tamar where David’s children through his wife Maacah, who was the daughter of the king of Geshur. Amnon was David’s first-born son, born from his wife Ahinoam, so he was the heir to the throne of David.

The improperness didn’t stem from her being a virgin. That actually meant that she was available for marriage. It was improper for brother and sister to marry. 

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verse 3

The word here for “crafty” in the Hebrew actually means intelligent and sharp. What we will see is that he uses his intelligence like an idiot! Sounds oxymoronic! It’s not. Just because you are smart, sharp, intelligent, crafty does not mean you are going to make good or wise decisions that have good outcomes. Wisdom and intelligence are two different things. Put together, success is inevitable.

Who has your ear? Jonadab is going to be all throughout this chapter, this friend of Amnon, and he’s a terrible person to have Amnon’s ear. He’s smart, he’s rich, he’s family, and, he’s an absolute idiot. He ends up getting Amnon killed! Be careful who has the authority to speak into your life.

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verse 4

Absolute lie. He doesn’t love Tamar, he loves himself. He doesn’t want her to be well, to do well, to be respectful, to have a wonderful life…, he wants to have her. That is not love, that is lust. And the outcome of lust indulged is hostility, its resentment… Watch what happens!

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 5 – 13

Interesting statement by Tamar. It could be that she knew the questionable morality of David, having multiple wives against the law of God for the king. So, it could have been that she was willing to be with Amnon if approved by the king. It could also be that she was trying anything to get away from the moment.

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 14 – 15

Once the lust was satisfied, there was nothing left. This is the reward of the flesh. When the flesh is satisfied, indulged, there is not virtue, there is not gratitude or joy, it’s just a momentary relief of the lust.

Amnon knew this was wrong. He knew it was wrong on many levels. Didn’t matter when he was feeling a type of way, but as soon as that was quenched, all that wrong was ascribed to her because without her, and this is just how the selfish mind thinks, without her, he wouldn’t now feel badly for what he had done.

For you unmarried, be aware of this truth. The moment you give yourself to him or to her without the binding covenant of marriage, animosity and resentment takes root. Why? Each of you go from subject to object… You lose respect for each other, among other things. It’s a subtle and subconscious revelation of a reality that cannot be denied, that she will give herself, her greatest and most precious gift, herself, to a man that is not her husband. And now she knows that he will give himself to a woman that is not his wife… And it just roots on from there… 

Here’s an amazing comfort of God. You are never objectified by Him. He always sees you. Values you. The statement, “I will never leave you nor forsake you,” doesn’t mean that bad things aren’t going to happen to you and to me. It means that all throughout it all, God will never objectify me or lessen my value to Him in His eyes. No matter what you’ve done, how you’ve failed, mistakes you’ve made, offenses even directly and personally against God, He will never label you anything other than beloved.

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 16 – 20

Verse 18 is interesting. She wore a robe of many colors which perhaps was a call back to the robe given to Joseph by Jacob as a sign of deep affection and favoritism. We are told in verse 18 that David gave this robe to all of his virgin daughters and it would most likely be a robe all the way to the hands and to the ankles, denoting someone that should not work but rather should be served.

It must have been hard to put that back on after what had happened to her. So much so that she couldn’t bear doing so without putting ashes on her head which would be a sign of mourning…

When Absolom sees her, he immediately knows that it was Amnon. Amnon thought he could just put her out, bolt the door behind him, get away with the thing, hide the thing…, but something those in sin often don’t understand, what they have done is obvious to others. It’s not so much what is said and not said but the energy of the non-verbal’s absolutely gives someone away…

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verse 21

David was right to be angry! In the Hebrew, this word for angry means that he burned with anger. BUT he didn’t do anything! He takes no action! He does not confront Amnon. He does not comfort Tamar. He does nothing! This is abject failure! David can stand against a thousand Philistines, but he can’t confront the sin of his own children! A great warrior, perhaps even a good king, but where he needed to be the best, he was a failure!

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verse 22

This simply means that he didn’t talk to him. He avoided him. 

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 23 – 27

Two full years have passed. No indication that David confronted Amnon in any way. And the result of it is that there’s division and enmity in his family. Absalom has hired shearers and essentially says, send all of the sheep and I will pay for the shearing. David blesses him for it and then Absolom specifically names Amnon and it surprises David. Why? Because no doubt David continually witnessed and was well aware of the continual division and animosity in his home because he did not deal with the problem.

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 28 – 29

Sin is like a snake in the grass. Bites low. Surprisingly. Unseen until the pain is inflicted. No doubt Amnon would be weary of Absolom being at the same shearing party. But after a few cups of wine, he would have been relaxed and enjoying himself. Then the blow comes…

This is one of the dangers of not dealing with a problem. It doesn’t go away. It doesn’t get better. It doesn’t heal. It’s not forgotten. It festers. It waits. And then when I and you are vulnerable, here it comes… Genesis 4:7 says, “If you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”

Amnon is killed by Absolom. The sword not departing from the house of David, as prophesied by the Lord.

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 30 – 36

It must have been well known that Absolom wanted Amnon dead. David doesn’t even react to this news he receives from Jonadab. He’s not even surprised to hear the incorrect report that Absolom had killed all of his sons! The weakness of David as a father screams out in these verses! So many things he had not addressed! Why? Because it’s hard! That’s why people don’t go right to these things… But it needs to be done and if not, much worse things can be in store…

And this Jonadab…, what a terrible individual. He caused all of this and now he seeks to gain favor in the ear of the king because of this. He probably sleeps well at night and has tons of friends. That is how backwards this world is…

2 Samuel Chapter 13 Verses 37 – 39 

Amnon has an indecent desire and is preoccupied by it for however long. Well known, and David doesn’t confront it. Amnon has wicked friends that he hangs out with, and David doesn’t confront it. Tamar is raped by Amnon, and David doesn’t confront it. Solomon and Amnon hate each other, and David doesn’t confront it. Absolom kills Amnon, and David doesn’t confront it.

Two years of mourning over Tamar turns into a total of five years mourning over Tamar, Amnon and Absolom. And this is unfortunately only the beginning of it for David…