Ephesians 6 vs 1-4

When God began the human family, He began with the father. The father is God’s answer to foundations. The father is much more than a title for those that have children but according to God, I am to father my children, my wife and my community. And interestingly, God has chosen to title Himself as Father. 1 Corinthians 8:6, “There is one God, the Father, of who are all things…”

Ephesians Chapter 6 Verse 1

·    In the Greek, this word for parents is the word “goneus” which is a noun meaning parents but it is presented in the masculine and so it could be translated, “Children,” being anyone dependent in anyway, not just biological offspring, but, “Children, obey your fathers in the Lord, for this is right!” And what’s cool here is that the word obey isn’t receptive but rather active…, like, COME and knock seeking to listen and be obedient.

·    So, “Children, seek out the instruction of your fathers, intending and eager to do just as they direct, for this is right!” Alright, that places a real responsibility on the fathers…, what is it? Coming in verse 4 but I’ll give it to you like this…, to make others (and most and first our own children) the absolute best of us!

Ephesians Chapter 6 Verses 2 - 3

·    What’s the promise? Exodus 20:12, “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” So, the promise that Paul is referring to can be interpreted as honoring your father and mother comes with days. What’s that mean? Dishonoring your father and mother, shortens your life! WOW!

Ephesians Chapter 6 Verse 4

·    Paul gives us the three elements of the instruction that is to come specifically from fathers in verse 4. First, I am to be careful to not provoke not just my children but also my wife and my community, careful to not provoke them to wrath but I am responsible (not just to my children, but also to my wife and to my community) to be the source/foundation and put on display the training and admonition of the Lord.

·    The word for wrath means to exasperate and I like that word. It means to introduce intense frustration. When something is futile, when you feel like you can’t get something right and you begin to lose hope, that is to be exasperated. And this is very very very easy to make the people closest to me feel if I walk in a critical nature.

·    I think all sorts of good things. See all sorts of good things. But I’m a fixer. So, I naturally tend to verbalize the problems that I see…. Totally off balance and can lead to someone feeling like all I see are the problems. Not so. Be careful to encourage and celebrate someone as much as you criticize and correct them. All coming from a good place, but constant criticisms and low volumes of praise will exasperate anyone…

·    Also, negativity exasperates. Just simple negativity. Doesn’t need to be about them or anything they’ve done or doing, but negative people exasperate those around them. Leaders, good leaders, fathers and good fathers find the positives in situations and life. Harsh words, negativity, criticism, these things all create pressure. Removing burdens and positivity relieves pressure. Kids especially are looking to find out how to measure life… Don’t provoke them to exasperation. What you’re doing is giving them the worst of you, not the best.

·    One practical example. A negative, critical and sometimes harsh person when met with someone with a problem or bad attitude may say something like this, “What’s wrong with you?” One second of intent and that question can be changed to, “Are you ok?” The same question was asked but only one of those questions actually helps…

·    And then Paul says, “But bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Two things that I’d like to explore and explain by using a bit of a play on the word, “father.” First, to train someone is to prepare them and in a way, when it comes to preparing for life, what I want to do is prepare my kids to be perfect. Hey do this, don’t do this, think this way, don’t think this way and all the while, with good intention, I’m trying to train them to be flawless. The problem with that is they aren’t and never will be and so when they aren’t, I and we both get frustrated.

·    What God does with me and what I am to do as a father is also to train my children to prepare for and recover when they (and here’s the play on words) falter. We serve a God that doesn’t kick us while we are down. He doesn’t begin tough conversations with an “I told you so,” but we serve a God that has a heart to lift us up when we have failed.

·    That’s really the entire message and demonstration of the cross. My sin, my failure, my mistakes put Him there and yet He went willingly so that I could be saved unto eternal life… Training my children that failure is a necessary part of success, that they are more important to me than their performance, relieves pressure and allows them to learn and grow with a much wider aperature…

·    The second directive of Paul for fathers is for us to apply the admonition of the Lord. And this one is a word we don’t use too much with a very long definition but I am going to simplify just for today in the second play on words and that is to take the word father and add one letter to it and say the word farther.

·    The thought behind this directive is that I as a father to my children, wife and community should have a heart to see them go farther than I could ever go. And so, I want to teach them the best of things, the things of God, not only by lip service but demonstration and also teach them and give them the best parts of me while protecting them from the limitations and bad parts of me.

·    Generations seem to be degrading and that is the plan of the enemy for sure. God’s purpose in combating and even leading away from that is for the fathers to generationally admonish those around them so that the next in line is better than they ever were and then the next and so on. Are you making the best of you into the next generation? Are you the best of the generations that have come before you?

·    Some practical offerings on admonishing your children, wife and even community. Make sure you are messaging to them that they are not special because they are smart, good in school, get good grades, excel on the ball field…, but install in them that they are special because God loves them, Jesus died for them and they are fearfully and wonderfully made. That is not an action, that is a mindset and fathers trying to make their kids, wives and communities flawless absolutely kill this message…

·    Don’t move the goalposts. Be consistent. If you move the goalposts of what it takes to gain your approval or messaging to them that they are doing well then that will cause confusion of what matters…, and that exasperates. Hypocrisy will kill your fatherhood. I am not only my kids’ father but I am also their brother in Christ… And if I dabble in hypocrisy then that confuses them as well. One other piece of just practical advice. Don’t have too many rules. The Jews came up with 613, Jesus came up with two…

·    All of this, couched within and founded upon this phrase we read in the middle of the verse and that phrase is “bring them up.” That’s it. That’s my job. Not to ween or raise but literally for my children, wife, community, people around me, my role, calling, directive and non-negotiable for the man (that would honor Jesus) is to bring and build and lift people up that are around me. Through training and through admonition. Through their failures, to progress them further…

·    Now, after hearing this, boy do we have some work to do, don’t we? We can look at the state of our homes, churches, communities and even nation and see that we as a whole are struggling. But remember, and one last thing to share with your today, this is the responsibility and approach God has adopted for Himself.

·    Ever heard, “everyone deserves a second chance?” That’s is a total lie. No one deserves a second chance but it is God’s desire and heart and character to offer and enable second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on chances for us to recover from our failures and go on farther…

·    In 1932 Pablo Picasso, a very troubled and bizarre man, painted a painting called “La reve,” or “The Dream.” The painting was purchased for $7,000 in 1941 by Victor and Sally Ganz of New York City. After their death, the painting was sold on November 11, 1997 at Christie’s Auction House for $48.4M! At the time, that was the sixth most expensive painting ever sold.

·    The man that purchased the painting was Austrian-born investment fund manager, Wolfgang Flottl. In 2001, under financial pressure, he sold “The Dream” painting to casino magnate Steve Wynn for around $60M.

·    Some five years later, Wynn agreed to sell the painting to billionaire Steven Cohen for an astonishing $139M, however, before the deal was complete, in showing the painting to some friends, he stumbled and managed to plunge his elbow right through the painting, ruining it! Devastated, he cancelled the deal…

·    He then spent a year searching for someone who could perhaps repair the painting. He did find someone. A specialist who could repair the painting and from the front, you wouldn’t ever tell that it had been ruined, but anyone who had access to the back of the painting, you’d see the devastation of the incident and the evidence of a repair.

·    The repair was completed…, and to Wynn’s surprise billionaire Steven Cohen contacted him and begged him to sell him the painting again. The fact that it had been ruined and then seemingly brought back was somehow so inspiring to the billionaire mogul, and so the painting again changed hands. Only after the repair, Cohen was no longer wanting to pay $139M. He paid $155M. The most ever paid for a painting…

·    Here is the training and admonition, the falter preparing and the farthering of the Father…, to take something, someone that was ruined and make them somehow more valuable than ever before… Perfect from the front, from the outside, devastating repair on the inside, and the highest value than any that have come before.

·    This is what God wants to do with and in you and this is what we as fathers, these are our orders…, not just for our children, but for our wives and our communities! Father’s are God’s answer for foundations and as for my people, I want their foundations to be solid, and so for me and my house, we will serve the Lord, beginning with me.